Ryan Reynolds Hate Blogging.

February 10, 2012

So, I did myself a favor and looked up Ryan Reynolds discography, and whoo boy. That guy’s like a shitty movie shark. Check out this murderers row.

2002 National Lampoon’s Van Wilder

2002 Buying the Cow

2003 The In-Laws

2003 Foolproof

2004 Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

2004 Blade: Trinity

2005 School of Life

2005 The Amityville Horror

2005 Waiting…

2005 Just Friends

2006 Smokin’ Aces

2007 The Nines

2008 Chaos Theory

2008 Definitely, Maybe

2008 Fireflies in the Garden

2009 Adventureland

2009 X-Men Origins: Wolverine

2009 The Proposal

2009 Paper Man

2010 Buried

2011 Green Lantern

2011 The Change-Up

2012 Safe House

2013 The Croods

2013 R.I.P.D.

There’s something about this guy that keeps his number in a motherfucker’s IPhone. Maybe it’s because, aside from the comic book adaptations, most of his movies were cheap to produce and probably made their money back. Movies like Blade 3, and Wolverine and the egregiously awful Green Lantern weren’t entirely his fault. I don’t know if producers and casting agents look at “Entirely his Fault” when they’re considering roles for white male actors, but Ryan Reynolds somehow rose above it.
Any Ryan Reynolds conversation should mention that the dude is a magician when it comes to playing unlikeable dicks. He’s got the perfect combination of Lacrosse player body, smug fucking face, and the sort of shitty one night stand charm befitting a bartender at Mick O’Sheas. He’s literally the ideal actor to play in a shitty romantic movie where an asshole changes his ways to woo Reese Witherspoon.

I’m sorry, I was trying to get to some point, but then I read the plot to Just Friends and I completely lost my momentum. This movie was the closest I ever got to clawing my eyes out and roaming the earth as a beggar.

You know what? Fuck Ryan Reynolds.